A Doctors Rant

I thought it would be insightful to share with you some of the things my Doctor friends complain about. They have to put up with some ridiculously funny interactions but jokes aside, it is really helpful to know what not to do. Enjoy the read and share the knowledge geeks.

 

1-    I AM NOT A MIND READER;

If you come in to see me and I ask you what is wrong and how I can help? A long silence or a exuberant sigh is not going to get us anywhere. They didn’t teach me to read minds in medical school, sorry about that.

2-    PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT;

Now that we have gone past the awkward silence or sigh, and you finally find the words to describe what it is you came in for, it would help me, to help you, if you used words and/or descriptions that made sense. It is a weird feeling in my belly just wont do! Really, no diagnosis is going be made on “a weird feeling” what is that?!?!?!?!? Practice at home what you want to say to me before you come in to see me. PLEASE.

3-    PAIN;

Most people will ignore something until it becomes painful or too painful to ignore. That’s a given (please don’t) but when I ask you what kind of pain is it and where? You should have given it enough thought to come up with a decent answer. I need words like, SHARP, DULL, ACHING, CONSISTANT, INCREASINGLY PAINFUL, HOW OFTEN etc Please don’t make me play the guessing game, most Dr’s are not very good at it.

4-    I AM NOT A THERAPIST;

Ladies (and sometimes Gentleman!)  if you are feeling premenstrual or menopausal (“empathetic man period”), why cant you wait until it blows over to come in about that thing you have been ignoring for ages anyway, it’s only a week or so. It’s not my job to have you cry on my shoulder or pat your back, in-fact I am not allowed. That is all.

5-    WIKIPEADIA DR’s;

OK, it’s really great that you did some research but actually I am the trained DR, not wikipeadia. Do you even know what wikipeadia is? Please at the very least look it up with the medical council!

That’s all for now. For obvious reason’s the identity of the Dr will remain anonymous but I will be interviewing more and posting new rants in the near future. Watch this space.

Let me know what you think and share any funny/helpful encounters on your visits to the Doctors.

Ex

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